McCain and adoption

This isn’t about who you are voting for so let’s all take off our partisan hats.

How many of you remember the snotty rumors last presidential election cycle that John McCain had a “love child” out of wedlock with an African-American woman? Oh the horror!

The truth was that his wife Cindy founded a group that organized trips for Arizona doctors and nurses to areas in need to medical assistance - think a Doctor’s Without Borders sort of group for disaster areas. On one such trip to Bangladesh, she fell in love with a baby living at an orphanage run by Mother Theresa - a child that needed more medical care than they could provide on the mission. So she bundled her up and took her home to the US with her, calling John from an airport to tell him he was about to having another child. Their daughter Bridget is now going on 17 and like most of the McCain children, kept away from the press for their privacy.

Bridget wasn’t the only child Cindy McCain got involved with - she shepherded another child from the same orphanage to be adopted by a family friend.

I won’t even get into the insanely bigoted ideas involved in all of this. It is too sad to even hash out. McCain has been honest and open but understated in terms of coming out swinging. He tends to be protective of his children’s privacy, which isn’t a bad thing in this day and age.

I’d sure like to see him and his wife be more vocal if his daughter feels comfortable with it at some point.

I found a
great interview with McCain on adoption that had some interesting excerpts on the topic:

On the rumors
There were some pretty vile and hurtful things said during the South Carolina primary. It’s a really nasty side of politics. We tried to ignore it and I think we shielded her from it. It’s just unfortunate that that sort of thing still exists. As you know she’s Bengali, and very dark skinned. A lot of phone calls were made by people who said we should be very ashamed about her, about the color of her skin. Thousands and thousands of calls from people to voters saying “You know the McCains have a black baby” I believe that there is a special place in hell for people like those.

On the adoption process:
They were very intrusive. Unfortunately it is a disincentive to some parents because it’s so much easier to go overseas. And that leaves us, in this country, with thousands of children who want parents and thousands of parents who want children. One of the goals I’ve had for a long time is to try to encourage a much less convoluted process in order for parents to adopt a child.

On Bridget:
She has enriched our lives. She’s a wonderful child, a complete part of our family and we love her.

Children’s Home Society

I love the adoption agency we adopted from, Children’s Home Society. On their list of waiting families is an interracial gay couple. It pisses me off every time I hear someone rant about gay people adopting. Gay isn’t a virus, they can’t pass it to kids and they aren’t indoctrinating kids as I heard one opponent say.

Foster kids need homes. If you are stable, kind and can be a good parent, welcome!

And don’t kid yourself either, there are a percentage of gay, bi or questioning teens that could have their lives saved by a gay couple. The suicide rate for GLB teens higher than the regular teen rate and healthy, stable role models could make a massive difference in a child’s life.

If you find what I’m saying offensive, I’m sorry that you can’t embrace diversity.

If you object to gay couples adopting, then step up to the plate and you adopt.

Great video on family who foster-adopted three abused children

VIDEO: Four-Years Later: Twins Found Caged Like Animals Now Thriving

Adoption law change in NC

I’m just passing this on for those of you in NC about the new law about connecting adoptees and birthparents through confidential intermediaries that goes into effect January 1, 2008. It is being set up to be run through adoption agencies and I just wanted to pass on info on a very trustworthy agency (Children’s Home Society) that is already taking information for people so they can start the process as soon as the guidelines and start date begin.

The NC General Assembly has recently passed legislation that will allow licensed child placing agencies to act as confidential intermediaries for adoptees, age 21 and older, and birth parents who wish to provide updated medical information. If both parties want additional information or possible contact, then identifying information can be shared with mutual consent. In addition, a licensed child placing agency may agree to act as a confidential intermediary for the adoptive parents of a minor adoptee to obtain non-identifying birth family health information. The new law becomes effective January 1, 2008.

Guidelines from the State Department of Social Services about implementation of the program will be forthcoming in the next several months. If you are interested in intermediary services, CHS is currently accepting letters of request with the understanding that no action can be taken until after 1/1/08. A fee will be charged for this service but the amount has not been set. You may send a letter stating that you are interested in intermediary services to Post Adoption, Children’s Home Society of NC, PO Box 14608, Greensboro, NC 27415. Please include your full name, date of birth, a copy of your driver’s license or other picture ID, and all contact information including an e-mail address if available. If you are an adoptee, we need your adoptive parent’s names. If you are a birth parent, include the name you were using at the time you received services through the agency.

Excerpt from HB 445:
A child placing agency licensed by the Department or a county department of social services may agree to act as a confidential intermediary for a biological parent or adult adoptee or adult lineal descendant of a deceased adoptee, without appointment by the court pursuant to G.S. 48‑9‑105, in order to obtain and share nonidentifying birth family health information or facilitate contact or share identifying information with adult adoptees, adult lineal descendants of deceased adoptees, and biological parents with the written consent of all parties to the contact or the sharing of information. Further, a child placing agency licensed by the Department or a county department of social services may agree to act as a confidential intermediary for the adoptive parents of a minor adoptee, without appointment by the court pursuant to G.S. 48‑9‑105, to obtain and share nonidentifying birth family health information. An agency that agrees to provide confidential intermediary services may charge a reasonable fee for doing so, which fee must be pursuant to written agreement signed by the individual to be charged. The Division shall establish guidelines for confidential intermediary services.”

http://www.chsnc.org/b_adoption_services/legislation.html

From Adam Feigen

American Express today announced the top 25 project ideas selected as semi-finalists for The Members Project (www.membersproject.com), the unique online initiative that allows Amex Cardmembers submit ideas to make a positive impact in the world. It is increasingly apparent that Cardmembers are passionate about championing for Foster Children. For every Cardmember that registers through August 5, American Express will donate $1 toward the winning idea with that innovative idea receiving at least $1 million and up to $5 million to make it a reality.

Help gather votes for Foster Children! Please let me know if you would be interested in posting this item on your site.

For more information log onto www.membersproject.com to “Register to Vote” and help the Foster Children idea receive the funds it deserves.

Interesting quote from a NY Times article

There is a NY Times article about weight, genetics and diet, Genes Take Charge, and Diets Fall by the Wayside.

The assumption was that environment determined weight, but Dr. Albert Stunkard of the University of Pennsylvania wondered if that was true and, if so, to what extent. It was the early 1980s, long before obesity became what one social scientist called a moral panic, but a time when those questions of nature versus nurture were very much on Dr. Stunkard’s mind.

He found the perfect tool for investigating the nature-nurture question — a Danish registry of adoptees developed to understand whether schizophrenia was inherited. It included meticulous medical records of every Danish adoption between 1927 and 1947, including the names of the adoptees’ biological parents, and the heights and weights of the adoptees, their biological parents and their adoptive parents.

Dr. Stunkard ended up with 540 adults whose average age was 40. They had been adopted when they were very young — 55 percent had been adopted in the first month of life and 90 percent were adopted in the first year of life. His conclusions, published in The New England Journal of Medicine in 1986, were unequivocal. The adoptees were as fat as their biological parents, and how fat they were had no relation to how fat their adoptive parents were.

The scientists summarized it in their paper: “The two major findings of this study were that there was a clear relation between the body-mass index of biologic parents and the weight class of adoptees, suggesting that genetic influences are important determinants of body fatness; and that there was no relation between the body-mass index of adoptive parents and the weight class of adoptees, suggesting that childhood family environment alone has little or no effect.”

In other words, being fat was an inherited condition.

Fascinating stuff. The rest of the article has more examples, not related to adoption, about a set weight of sorts for people. My weight has been something I’ve struggled with for a long time, while my husband is naturally lean and lanky. We both very try hard to ensure our daughter eats a very healthy and balanced diet either way.

AP: NC House Panel Agrees To Improve Adoptee-Birthparent Access

My thoughts - this is at least SOME progress and the beginning of a registry to manage connecting people. I’m curious what agencies are to be involved. I wonder how many agency keep records that well. Is placing that on agencies a realistic expectation? Some agencies already have ethical issues to resolve. What about private adoptions through an attorney?

RALEIGH, N.C. - A House judiciary committee has agreed to help adult adoptees or their biological parents in finding out each other’s identities.

But the panel stopped short of an earlier proposal to allow adoptees access to their original birth certificates.

Adoption advocates and birthmothers pushed to eliminate a 1949 law that’s kept adopted children’s original birth certificates sealed, requiring litigation to gain access to records. Those birth certificates identified the biological parents.

Other advocates disagreed, saying the change would possibly discourage adoption and unravel the understanding by some mothers that their identities would remain confidential.

A compromise bill approved today would allow an adoption agency to act as a “confidential intermediary” between an adoptee age 21 or older and a biological parent. With written permission from both sides, the agency could bring about contact between the parent and child or share identifying information.

As I’ve said before, I’m curious to see all the specifics and I’d hope there is a funding attached to the panel’s ruling. Roberta or David, have you heard any more details?

Evangelicals Start Adoption Push

Evangelicals Start Adoption Push, Faithful Told To Back Up Opposition To Abortion With More Adoptions And Improved Foster Care - CBS News.

I saw a link to this on the family pride.org blog, a site dedicated to equality issues for gay families. Their tag line is - love. justice. family. equality. - who could disagree with that I say! Well I’m sure some people do but my experiences with gay families adopting from foster care have been awesome. I support them 100%. Kids are languishing the system and qualified families are needed to parent them.

Now it appears the evangelical movement wants to get involved in foster care and adoption. GREAT. The more the merrier. I have grown tired of some Christian groups rhetoric against abortion and against gay adoptive foster families. I disagree in most ways the core of their beliefs but I also disagree with the fact those groups don’t actively do enough REAL things. I don’t think protesting outside of abortion clinics does anything but upset women. But encouraging them to adopt from foster care is a very good thing.

“In some people’s minds, the church has been very pro-life up until the point of birth,” said Michael Monroe, who co-founded an adoption and foster care ministry at Irving Bible Church outside Dallas. “But a lot of people are saying it’s not enough to be pro-life, we need to be pro-children, as well.”

I agree completely. Quit the rhetoric and get involved. I hope they stick to just encouraging people though and we don’t end up with the issues with the Catholic groups who didn’t want to place children in gay families (fhew so many issues involved here).

And for the record, I’m a Christian and very liberal Republican.

NC House Bill proposes adoption law changes

Roberta MacDonald passed this on to me to post and I’m thrilled to have this all spelled out.

Roberta MacDonald, North Carolina State Representative American Adoption Congress, Chairwoman NC Coalition for Adoption Reform Durham, NC

House Bill 445 (HB445) a bill granting adult adoptees (18 years or older) and the adult lineal descendants of a deceased adoptee access to their original birth certificates (OBC) will have a House Judiciary I committee hearing on May 1 at 10:00 a.m. in Room 1228 at the Legislative Building Raleigh. North Carolina started closing adoptee access to their original birth certificates in 1949.

This bill is based on Oregon legislation (Ballot Measure 5 that has been in effect since 2001. Oregon law allows an adult adoptee access to their OBC. It also provides a mechanism whereby birth parents may indicate their preference for contact by filling out a contact preference form. This form gives a birth parent the option of being contacted directly, contacted through an intermediary, or not contacted at all by an adoptee. According to the Oregon Department of Human Services, as of May 31, 2005, 8,486 adoptees had ordered a copy of their OBC.

The Oregon system appears to be quite successful in balancing the rights of adoptees and birthparents regarding their desire for contact. One of the most interesting things to come out of Oregon’s new adoption law is the number of contact preference forms filed by birth parents requesting no contact. On the fifth anniversary of the law’s implementation, only 83 birth parents had asked for no contact. It is clear that after the initial influx of no contact requests, the numbers have dropped dramatically. This number also indicates that a significantly low percentage of birth parents requested no contact out estimated tens of thousands of adoptees eligible to request a copy of their OBC.

The bill being proposed in NC would become law in January 2008 after passage. If you are interested in attending please contact the individuals listed below. All are encouraged to contact NC legislators or submit letters to the editor to express their support for this adoptee access bill.

Representatives Margaret Highsmith Dickson, W.A. Wilkins an adoptive father, James Crawford and Jean Farmer-Butterfield are the four primary sponsors of the bill. The text of House Bill 445 can be found at the following website: http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/Sessions/2007/Bills/House/HTML/H445v1.html. For further information contact Roberta Macdonald at nccar@mindspring.com.

Roberta MacDonald - Reunited Adoptee
Chairwoman - NC Coalition for Adoption Reform
http://adoptionreform-nc.org
NC State Representative
American Adoption Congress
http://www.americanadoptioncongress.org/

AP: Father’s Mission

The father of a 9-year-old girl who was kidnapped, raped and murdered in Florida urged lawmakers in North Carolina - the state of her birth - to approve tougher penalties for child molesters. Mark Lunsford, whose daughter Jessica was born during the two decades he lived in Gaston County, urged support of a bill that would lengthen minimum prison sentences and require child molesters be electronically monitored for life after serving their sentences. “The system has failed me and our children, not just in Florida but across the country,” said Lunsford, who has lobbied for similar laws in about 20 states.

02/26/2010, that is the projected date Hayley’s abuser will leave prison. My stomach turns at the idea of his release.

I’m pretty much in favor of the changes Lunsford is asking for in N.C. I don’t have any faith that the sex offender registry really does enough to protect families. The registry is good to know where these previous offenders are so your child can avoid that house and that the offender has to live away from the immediate zones around children’s areas. However, not all offenders are not registering or updating their registries when they move. I would like to see a more structured monitoring system for the more serious sex offenders.

Prisons aren’t about rehabbing people extensively. I don’t think anyone can really be rehabbed at the same time as living in a very hostile environment - that said, they deserve the hostile environment for their crimes. I just don’t seem them coming out of prison really a changed person.

In N.C., the structured sentencing changes have ensured that despite overcrowding prisoners are not released just due to overcrowding - they will serve at least 85% of their sentence as a given. I would like to see a system that releases sex offenders into a controlled or halfway house setting that can ensure they are going to counseling and are slowly re-entering society.

I don’t want to think about Hayley’s abuser getting out of jail but I have to think ahead. We’ve talked to Victim Services to protect her as much as we can now with blocking his access to this county for our prisons or work crews, getting on the update list for his status, tracking down his prison records and more. We can still file information with the state that will affect the conditions of his post-prison life and I certainly will be doing that.