Hayley’s soccer team went to their first away weekend tournament in Myrtle Beach and took second place. It was tons of fun and she not only played well but behaved fairly well too for the weekend.
One game went to sudden death penalty kicks which her team prevailed in. Both teams’ parents were cheering and very passionate but it wasn’t mean spirited. After the game, Jeff and I made a point to yell over to the other parents what a good game it was and they thanked us. After the post-game handshake, our kids do a fun tunnel to honor the other team, which is returned. It’s a nice way to end the game, win or lose.
On the way back home, I was reminded of a story here in Raleigh where parents were banned from soccer matches a few weekends ago, Kids’ soccer league suspends grown-ups. The paper notes that six clashes between opposing parents as well as parents and refs erupted in three separate Challenge-division games. Challenge is the division Hayley plays it, it is the level up from recreation. They don’t mention the age level. She doesn’t play in that particular league but she did in the past and her team plays those teams at festivals.
At the same time I was considering how early we starts kids in sports here. We are guilty of that too. Hayley has played since she was six indoor and outdoor. Now at nine, we’ve moved up to challenge level and are traveling.
I’m not going to get banned from a game but I admit to be pissed off at other parents in the past, even a coach or two. I’ve gotten into one verbal squabble but it was only when a fellow parent had been harassed. I’ve been irked at Hayley for not giving effort. I really don’t care if she stinks but don’t be lazy and ignore your coaches. She was peeved at us for what she thought was criticism at the beach for a less than her best game. It took us awhile to explain to her we were not criticizing her but trying to help her understand that the McDonalds between games with a friend wasn’t good for her playing. She finally got what we were saying and even agreed by the next day. But is it screwed up that I can tell you what my child needs to eat to play well? That I know she needs gatorade before and after but water in behind?
But then again, I let her decide to quit playing the sport I love more than anything - basketball. I’ve let her ride horses, which I never did a day in my life. We just require she play sports, not which ones.
Passion by parents can be great if it supports the child’s desires but in the beginning parents do need to give their kids opportunities to play. In this day and age of early intense training what happens if your kids falls in love with a sport at 12? When I was a kid, sometimes people didn’t start playing a particular sport until middle school.
The fact now is that waiting until 12 would mean that your kid probably wouldn’t make a middle school team. By the time Hayley gets to middle school, she’ll have five and half years of almost year round soccer training. Even a very good athlete would struggle to catch up with a decent athlete who has had years of skill development already.
Which brings us back to the ever so passionate parents. Do you start early and try to avoid burnout? Or do you let your child figure it out on their own but be so behind the curve they might lose interest after facing better kids? I don’t know the answer, I suppose it is up to each parent.
I believe in sports. I believe in the lessons it can teach kids. Kids who play sports are healthier and less lucky to drop out of school. For children with ADD, sports can be a huge help in allowing them to runoff energy.
I think I’m just rambling here, trying to find the middle ground. Many of my posts are my way to work out things in my own noggin.
October 18, 2007 at 12:08 pm
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