I came in to volunteer in Hayley’s classroom today. I do this every year and really enjoy it. I get to work with small groups of kids and goof off - well not REALLY goof off but make them laugh while they learn. I had a small group of kids who needed some extra math practice so we headed to the media center to work, of course Hayley tagged along even though she knew the material. The kids were sweet and were quickly chugging right along on their math with smiles.
I was faking my jocular mood. I arrived as the kids were still outside for recess and the teacher had some sobering news. Hayley had a meltdown at lunch, sobbing in the cafeteria about meeting her birthfather and brothers this weekend. The lunch ladies had to take her aside and get her teacher.
I found her outside jumping rope with friends and she didn’t want to talk about it then. We talked some at home. We talked about things to do when we are hurting and things to say so we don’t have to tell everything all the details of our lives because it then puts pressure on her to tell MORE than she needs to tell.
We think it just might be anxiety over it, which would be very valid. We waited until late last night to tell her about the visit and she was thrilled. Hayley is a kid that needs to know what is happening to her, you can’t just surprise a child that has been abused and neglected. They have power and control issues and need a chance to ready themselves for a situation. But I also didn’t want her over thinking things either. Sigh - how am I supposed to know what is the balance?
We’ll be there at 8 in the morning for a conference. Then I’ll come home and start calling therapists.
